Im alone in this house and my bones can’t help but rattle. I bet you never knew that being alone is a chilling presence you can feel. The struggle to keep warm is an on going battle. They say the cure is one of pride. You have to let someone in to join. Let someone in to enjoy the ride.

“White knuckles and sweaty palms from hanging on too tight
Clenched shut jaw, I’ve got another headache again tonight
Eyes on fire, and they burn from all the tears
I’ve been crying,I’ve been dying over you

I think I’ve finally had enough, I think I maybe think too much
I think this might be it for us (blow me one last kiss)
You think I’m just too serious, I think you’re full of shit
My head is spinning so
Just when it can’t get worse, I’ve had a shit day
Have you had a shit day? we’ve had a shit day
I think that life’s too short for this, I want back my ignorance and bliss
I think I’ve had enough of this.

I won’t miss all of the fighting that we always did,
Take it in, ‘cause you’ll no longer sleep
I’ll dress nice, I’ll look good, I’ll go dancing alone
I will laugh, I’ll get drunk, I’ll take somebody home

I think I’ve finally had enough, I think I maybe think too much”

“You and I go hard at each other like we’re going to war.
You and I go rough, we keep throwing things and slamming the door.
You and I get so damn dysfunctional, we stopped keeping score.
You and I get sick, I know that we can’t do this no more.

Yeah, but baby there you again, making me love you.
Yeah, I stopped using my head, using my head, let it all go.
Got you stuck on my body, on my body, like a tattoo.
And now I’m feeling stupid, feeling stupid, crawling back to you.

So I cross my heart and I hope to die
That I’ll only stay with you one more night
And I know I said it a million times
But I’ll only stay with you one more night

Try to tell you “no” but my body keeps on telling you “yes”.
Try to tell you to “stop”,
I’ll be waking up in the morning, probably hating myself.
And I’ll be waking up, feeling satisfied but guilty as hell.

I don’t know, whatever.

“Baby, when I’m yelling at you, it’s not your fault, it’s not your fault.”
“And I’m hearin’ what you say,
But I just can’t make a sound.
You tell me that you need me,
Then you go and cut me down…
But wait…
You tell me that you’re sorry,
Didn’t think I’d turn around…
And say…
Take a fall, take a shot for you.
I said it’s too late to apologize”
“I’m a fight with myself til I’m bleeding. Just a taste of your skin starts the healing. Anyone from my past, grab your ammo. Find the sun in the dark side of my shadow”
“Baby, I miss you and I swear I’m gonna change, trust me.’ Remember how that lasted for a day? I say I hate you we break up, you call me, I love you.”

Actions vs. words

We’ve all heard the expression “actions speak louder than words”
But I beg to differ. In some instances words can be more painful than any action. Words you can only forgive but they will always be ingrained in your memory. An action… In time you will feel it fade. If you throw an insult during someone, you can guarantee that next time they’re angry with you that comment is going to be fueling a fire.
And what about the actions you choose to make when no ones looking? What affect do those have?
But then there are the words and actions put together. I love when you say one thing and do the opposite. It takes so much strength to not fight you with your own damn words, throw them back at you.
What’s ironic is that you blame my lack of God for the way my life is turning out, yet I’m the one turning the other cheek. Ye who is without sin may cast the first stone.
Yeah, I went there.